


Run away

by grossnoona



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, like ritsu kind of wants to disappear into existence suicidal thoughts ok, literally everyone else appears once or twice and is mention only im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:52:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona
Summary: Mao thinks the toughest thing to do is finding Ritsu who leaves abruptly with no clues whatsoever.Mao thinks that Ritsu can be the most difficult person to be with.Mao thinks it's frustrating to deal with someone like Ritsu every day.Yet, he doesn't want to say he hates Ritsu for making him do these things.





	Run away

**Author's Note:**

> Grossnoona here and I'm sad (we know).  
> I'm gonna be honest, I'm just sad and want to disappear forever.  
> Though, I think I will get over these thoughts in a couple of days. Who knows really.  
> Anyway, today I wrote MaoRitsu because I haven't in a long time and also sometimes you just wanna write sad ritsus when youre sad ok  
> I kind of implied Ritsu is pretty suicidal in here so fair warning ok

Mao finds Ritsu laying on the grass, gazing into the empty night sky.

 

Ritsu never really texts anyone where he runs off. Whether he believes it or not, people care about him. Even if he doesn’t think so, people would get up in arms as soon as he says something suspicious. He might not think a lot about his presence in the lives of others but Mao does. Mao knows enough to assume that Ritsu doesn’t even know about the constant buzzing from his phone from everyone they both know.

 

“It sucks.”

 

Mao hums when Ritsu spares a small glance at him. Ritsu has a face that looks like a mix between disappointment and sadness though Mao can’t quite make a good reason to why he’s making such a face. Ritsu doesn’t quite offer Mao a spot but he doesn’t quite cuss him out for sitting next to him. Just by judging the red that decorates his face, Ritsu doesn’t have enough energy to give a shit about anything anymore.

 

They sit there, quietly. It’s kind of peaceful watching the small stars that emerge once or twice amongst the otherwise empty sky. Ritsu looks tired, he might fall asleep at this rate. Mao doesn’t mind carrying him but he’ll have to get the other to stay awake long enough to get on him. It wouldn’t be as troublesome as some people tell him as they apologise for asking him to find Ritsu who never came to practice, clubs or even at home.

 

Mao doesn’t admit it but he was scared when Arashi told him that Ritsu went missing. The entirety of Knights was up in arms, running around the school compound in search for the missing strategist. With the panic from his own unit, his club became affected with that worried virus; Hajime worriedly asking the other juniors for help as Eichi bargaining the ever-so-useful Madara to help out. Soon enough, it became an entire school search just for one idiot who wasn’t even in the school grounds or near it.

 

They gave up when they had checked every possible location they could think of. Rei tried to calm down and offered to check as soon as he reached home. Mao agreed that he could check his own house as Ritsu often visited and would come home earlier than Mao on some days. Yet the two of them arrive to empty bedrooms. No shoes simply shrugged off at the front door, no voice cooing for the beloved Sakuma cat, nothing. It made Mao queasy honestly.

 

He remembers rushing out of the door as soon as he receives Rei’s text informing that Ritsu wasn’t home. He remembers hearing his younger sister yelp as he quickly slips on his shoes; his parents demanding where he was running off to.

 

It’s stupid, watching him clumsily run as he headed to some unknown direction as he begs Ritsu to answer his  _ goddamn phone _ . He wanted to shout at Ritsu for disappearing. Always disappearing, thinking nobody cares about him--that no one will notice that he’s gone nor will they do anything about it. He wanted to shout at Ritsu for thinking those useless thoughts that do nothing but inflict damage to that fragile body of his.

 

When Ritsu finally picked up his phone,  _ he sounded dreaded _ . He was sniffling, blaming it on cold weather when it’s July. He was mad at Mao for calling him endlessly but it doesn’t quite have the same bite as he would usually have. Mao remembers how angry he was but instead of screaming at the other, he just begged where the other was. Ritsu never really gave a proper answer, he just hung up and shared some location not far from the neighbourhood.

 

But right now, he couldn’t get mad anymore.

 

Ritsu reaches out for his hand and holds it for a while. Mao tightens it as he feels Ritsu curl up next to him.

 

“It sucks. Everything sucks.”

 

That’s all Ritsu says as he cries. He cries with his entire body, heavy and messy. He heaves after each cry he lets out. He doesn’t quite cry like Mao who cries with clear discomfort in his gestures and voice. Ritsu cries in frustrated wipes that could tear his skin if he rubs them too roughly. He cries in anger as if he hated the feeling of sadness. Mao consoles him with back rubs and comfortable silence.

 

“It  _ fucking sucks _ .”

 

Mao never really asked Ritsu what  _ it _ is but he surely will find out one way or another. Maybe not. He never is quite sure, the cause of these problems don’t exactly change but the reason why it happens changes. Mao doesn’t really want to pry into such personal matters unless Ritsu lets him.

 

Ritsu frustratedly rants about a list of things; worries piled up onto one and another. Mao sits there and tries to take it in. It’s hard to process the things Ritsu talks about; how he sees himself, the ever-so fading feeling he feels lately and how he wants to disappear. Whenever Ritsu talks about wanting to evaporate into thin air; he sounds disappointed in himself.

 

“I’m sorry,” Mao apologises as Ritsu wipes his tears away one last time.

 

“Don’t. You’re  _ not even part of this problem _ .” Ritsu sounds sharp but Mao doesn’t mind it. He lets Ritsu sound vile and angry. He lets Ritsu just want to shout and scream but nothing comes out. Ritsu is just too tired to care anymore. He just slumps next to Mao and asks him ridiculous things that neither of them could ever care about.

 

Ritsu asks about Knights.

 

Mao tells him about Knights running around looking for him, Leo included. 

_ (He doesn’t tell him about the worry that painted all of their faces) _

 

Ritsu asks about the Tea Club.

 

Mao tells him about Hajime and Eichi running off to ask help from their more capable peers. 

_ (He doesn’t mention how frustrated Eichi looked) _

 

Ritsu asks about his brother.

 

Mao tells him about Rei who tried to calm the entire school but ultimately was at loss at the sight of Ritsu not being in his own bedroom, petting their beloved cats. 

_ (He doesn’t mention how Rei was probably shaking when he texted Mao that Ritsu was still missing) _

 

“What about you? You seemed god awfully mad when you saw me.”

 

Mao was, to be honest. He was frustrated at how much he had to run for this idiot but yet he couldn’t bear to tell Ritsu that. He couldn’t bear the idea of scolding Ritsu for making stupid hasty decisions that don’t just affect him. It leaves everyone in a panic if Ritsu ups and leaves with no explanation.

 

“I must’ve left you running frantically with all of your student council work, didn’t I?” Ritsu laughs, his voice was slightly hoarse from all that crying earlier.

 

Before Mao could even open his mouth, Ritsu apologises. He apologises for making Mao chase after him with no proper clue; leaving him frustrated for dealing with his stupid antics. He mentions about how he should be a lot more responsible yet he keeps making these reckless unplanned escapades from life. How childish, Ritsu laughs.

 

“It does suck when you run away,” Mao jokes. He pulls Ritsu into a proper hug, resting his head on top of Ritsu’s. His hair smells faintly of lavender and he wonders if that’s why Ritsu is always tired.

 

He continues tracing shapes on Ritsu as he tells Ritsu how it sucks to constantly guess every place Ritsu would be, constantly run in worry that Ritsu wasn’t attempting anything dangerous, constantly fearing that when Mao arrives, Ritsu would be gone for good. It’s a little frustrating being with Ritsu; it’s tough trying to put together the thoughts that Ritsu has and what they mean.

 

Yet despite all of it, Mao doesn’t mind it.

 

As long as Ritsu was fine and at least tried to vaguely explain his reasons, Mao doesn’t exactly hate it. He doesn’t hate being with Ritsu even with the difficult obstacles that come with it. He doesn’t hate the idea of chasing Ritsu who will smile at the end of the journey. He doesn’t hate it even when it’s just laying in bed, gently pushing away any stray hair that curls around Ritsu’s face as they nap in bed. Mao doesn’t hate any of it.

 

“Cheesy,” Ritsu laughs as he tries to push Mao off.

 

They laugh and head home, maybe they stop somewhere to grab some dinner as Ritsu probably hasn’t eaten ever since he left school and Mao ran off before his parents could even inform him about dinner.

 

Mao might get scolding from his parents as his sister laughs at his dismay but he can deal with that later. Watching Ritsu laugh as he sends apologetic messages to his friends and family, he was fine with the tough outcome he’ll face when he arrives home.

 

They spend their evening like that, chatting about god knows what in a fast-food joint. Coming home to relentless scolds from their parents, climbing into their beds as they continue their conversations on LINE. It seemed tomorrow, Ritsu would receive a lot more smack for being reckless. Judging by his sign off, Ritsu wasn’t afraid of it. He called it useless if anything.

 

Mao sighs at the goodnight message.

 

It’s a wonder how Mao can find himself helplessly in love with someone like Ritsu.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a fic with Mao's sister but I never got around to.  
> Hopefully, one day I will.  
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
